Κυριακή, 14 Φεβρουαρίου 2016

"The girl who was crying a lot"


THE GIRL WHO WAS CRYING A LOT
Jenny  was crying her heart out  dogging her head deep into her shoulders which were shuddering  by an emotional wave .
Her light blue almond eyes couldn’t stop generating   tears while deep sighs followed every now and then from the depths of her soul.
She was sitting all alone, under her favourite   lemon tree, a little further from her  home where the rest of her family were  still having lunch.
After she had cried for quite some time, she felt much better and looked around through the wetness of her eyes. She saw the sun up in the sky, she saw the sea sparkling  a few meters away, she saw the seagulls having a parade on the banks of the little stream which was flowing into the sea, and a couple of  elegant swans  floating  idly away.

Jenny  was just 10 , but as long as she could remember herself, she cried for every possible reason.  She cried, for example, because her mum had told her off, because her brother had teased her , because her father had forgotten to kiss her goodnight, or because her best friend went to play with other children. That particular noon, she cried because her teacher had told her that she had to try more and study harder. That was a huge offense for her little heart and felt embarrassed  and unhappy. However, after crying for almost half an hour, she still couldn’t decide if she was crying because she felt offended or because she didn’t have the slightest intention to try more and become a better student.
At last, she went back home and sat at the table with her family. They were all talking and laughing at the same time and she got confused! “ What is going on?” she thought. “ What have I missed?”  She was ready to start crying again when her father showed  her an ad  in the newspaper. “Look Jenny! This  mostly interests you! “

So Jenny started reading the ad which was  about a CRY DOCTOR!
A cry doctor , the paper said, is for the children who cry for no reason. Specifically it was like this.
“Do your children cry for no obvious reason? Do they cry every two or so minutes and you have never guessed why? Does this  hinder his or her everyday school and family life?
If this is the case do not hesitate to call NOW !   tel. 699000999.”
Her father had already held out to his phone  while the others were excitedly waiting  for the call. Jenny was astound and she even had forgotten her mouth open.
She listened to  her father talking to the doctor and inviting him to stay for a while with them at the guest room! Obviously the doctor had accepted his invitation because her father said “All set! He will be here  at nine. Maria, we have a guest!”
Her mother still half laughing started moving around, tidying and cleaning ,throwing glances at  her and telling her every now and then “Lucky you!”
It was too much for her.” This would be too much for any child”, she thought. She started weeping again sitting once again under her lemon tree.
“A total stranger in our house. A total stranger because of me and nobody seems to be a little bit upset! How strange!”
It seemed so strange,so strange indeed , Jenny  lost 3 sighs in the row .
Her brother Phil, a 12 year old handsome blond boy, called her in the house as the time had passed and she had to do her homework for the next day.
Jenny dragged her feet  home, but as soon as she realized that it  was Tuesday which was the worst day of the week loaded with maths and the  difficult history,- which she hadn’t studied yet-, she felt once more a wave of tears coming up from the back of her head.
From her window she had the view of the sea which started to look gray under the afternoon  dim sun
-  the same gray felt inside her heart - after so much crying  and homework and a strange stranger doctor, just for her in her own home.
She tried hard to concentrate on her homework and the time flew as the swans flew over the sea.
The ring of the door bell came as thunder to her ears and she collected that the doctor was probably standing at their porch. She listened to her mother calling her with a reassuring voice and Jenny went to meet her fate.
There he stood ,in front of her a smiling young man in his 30s.
“ Hello!” he said. “ You  must be Jenny. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes, I am sir” she replied timidly, and lowered her eyes to the floor.
“Don’t be afraid young miss! I am  only  here to help you”
His voice was gentle, his eyes tender, and her by standing parents full of confidence. So she decided to be more positive about the whole idea and collaborate with him.
“So, Jenny, the treatment is simple and without any medicine. We will start just now and we will work together for  the next  two days. I  want to ask you something first. How many times have you cried today?”
Jenny started  counting with her fingers and to her amazement she discovered that both hands weren’t enough to finish counting.
“That many! “ said the doctor. “So for today you have to find out ,if it is possible, how often you cry in a day. Have a good night and I will see you in the morning”.
The doctor,- his name was Sam-,  had a long long discussion till very late at night with her parents about her and her habits. Her character and her relationship with family and friends. She couldn’t hear very well what they were saying, just a few words, her name now and then, but what she heard and she was very sure about it, it was something about onions.
‘ What do onions have to do with her case?” Then she fell asleep and dreamed of endless onion fields and herself watering them with her own tears.
In the morning she woke surprisingly happy. She felt secure and light as a feather.
Nobody had blamed her of anything, everybody was calm and smiling and she was ready to go to school to face the maths monster and the nightmare history. She went on foot , while her brother rode his bike. Her dad, mum and Sam were talking like old friends at the kitchen table and waved her goodbye through the open window.
The good mood didn’t last for long that morning, as the teacher started attacking them with questions that she couldn’t answer, but she didn’t cry as no question was for her. Something was going on because she was more sweet with her than usual and she was looking at her as if she knew. By the end of the day Jenny was certain that her teacher knew, as it was the first time after a long  time that she didn’t cry in the classroom. She was so happy about it that she didn’t even cry when her best friend didn’t invite her to play hide and seek. She felt a little upset of course, and she felt like crying, but she didn’t.  Jenny was sure that  night she could be able to count with the fingers of her one hand the times she might have shed tears by bed time.
At home she told everything to Sam and her mum, and after her lunch she started searching for her old favourite  trainers to go to the beach to find some shells .  She couldn’t find them anywhere, so she started crying again, a quiet, on going sobbing 
“Come here Jenny, come to the sink!” her mother told her  firmly . No sooner had she approached the sink than her mum gave her a knife and a few onions  urging  her to start peeling them.
‘ But I can’t!” she mumbled.”.I  am crying!” “ You will have a good reason to cry then!” her mother told her still smiling . Jenny felt  deeply insulted but she didn’t dare to resist since Sam was watching closely and her mother didn’t seem willing to show any sympathy to her ordeal.
“How cruel can the adults be!” Jenny  thought as she was trying to distinguish  which tear was coming from her new misery and which from the onions.
“ So Jenny, this is part of the treatment. Whenever you cry  for something so simple, you will peel some onions to give a good excuse for your tears. I have suggested to your mother that you should take some with you at school! Wouldn’t that be great! “
Jenny felt furious!  What has just happened!  Where is her  softly- pleading mother begging her to stop crying? Where is the attention and the questions about her feelings ? Sam had only been with them for half a day, but he had  transformed Mrs Kay  into  a kinder teacher and her mum  tougher ?

That was such  a strong shock  that it made her stop crying and started thinking about where her trainers might be. Finally she remembered putting them in a box under her bed and after she had finished peeling the onions , she ran to put them on, and then she   went to play and find shells.
That night she had a lot to think about, and the next morning  she woke up even better the previous one.
By the third, a lot had  changed and Jenny felt emotionally stronger, not to mention a much better onion peeler!
When they waved Sam goodbye , she smiled at him with all the warmth of her heart, and she knew that she owed it  to him that she had now more friends at school and that her best friend didn’t neclect to call her to play during breaks.
The lemon tree stopped  being her favourite hiding place and she knew that she could also be a much better student.



Strategies for handling the urge to cry

Here are some general strategies that you may want to share with your child for when he or she feels like crying in public. 
-  Breathe deeply. Slow, deep breaths can be very calming. Help your child practice breathing slowly and quietly, in through the nose, out through the mouth. 
- Count. Silently counting floor tiles, reciting even numbers, or doing mental math facts can be a good distraction to help your child get back on even keel. 
- Take a break. Sometimes the best way to regain self-control is to step away from the situation. Your child could go to the bathroom or get a drink of water. 
- Self-comfort. Tell your child to cross arms and give him- or herself a subtle little hug while thinking a comforting thought such as, “I’ll be okay,” “I can get through this,” or “Pretty soon I’ll be home and can tell Mom or Dad about this.” 


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